Bobby Drake walks through Hell's Kitchen, New York. He thinks to himself that there was a time when darkness devoured these sidewalks, when the air rang with gunshots and the violent cries of hapless victims – whatever “hapless” means. Bobby remembers that a man in red devoted his life to protecting the streets – and now, it is where lonely gay guys go to strike out to fuel sad-boy vibes. 'Or they still fight crime. Just in flashier clothes...' Bobby decides.
But suddenly, as he passes a busy sidewalk, where people are enjoying their evening, several other people run towards him, 'Somebody call the cops!' a man shouts, as flames burst from a nearby building. Inside, a plump woman is on a stage, 'This is not the kind of death drop I signed up for' she calls out as the flames surround her. Thankfully, swirls of ice douse the flames, and Iceman slides into the room, 'Hey...lemme ask you a question...' Bobby calls out as he reaches out and pulls the woman onto his ice-slide.
'So, I'm out here trying to meet guys...' Bobby begins as he and the woman ice-slide out of the burning building, while nearby on the sidewalk, a man in a baseball throws another flaming bottle towards the building, 'Eat ##### fairies!' he shouts. 'Be with you in a second!' Bobby remarks as he traps the homophobe in a solid block of ice. Bobby continues talking to the woman, telling her that he is a catch, he hates when people say that, but he is cute, and smart enough to know that guy in the ice now has about four minutes before hypothermia sets in. He explains that when he was dating girls, it wasn't so hard, but now – he isn't really translating. Bobby remembers earlier that night at a nightclub, 'I said, I believe you dropped this on the dance floor!' he called out to another guy, holding up an ice-shoe. 'WHAT?' the other man asked, confused.
'Anyway, I just keep wondering... what's wrong with me?' Bobby asks the woman. 'Honey, if you save men from burning buildings, you should be up to your knees in -' the woman begins, 'Morlocks?' Bobby asks as a piece of paper floats through the wind towards him.
The next day inside the Danger Room control booth at the Xavier Institute in Central Park, Bobby is sitting in a meditative position in the control booth as Kitty Pryde walks towards him and asks if he shouldn't be paying attention to his students' training session. 'Good point, Headmistress Kitty' Bobby replies. 'But nah. Most of them are still in the button-mash phase of using their powers. No coordination, no plan. I can literally manage my golem and mediate on my powers' Bobby explains, adding that the students wanted Danger Room time, and he wanted them to learn teamwork, so it is a win-win. Inside the Danger Room, Eye-Boy, Glob Herman, Oya, Michaela Ladak and Anole are running from a large ice-golem. 'Michaela, if you're such a Beyonce fan, learn to stay in formation!' Oya exclaims. Michaela replies that she is trying, and points out that Queen Bey didn't have to fight monsters during her Superbowl performance.
Back in the control booth, Bobby hands Kitty the piece of paper he found floating around Hell's Kitchen. Kitty looks at the paper, which is a “Missing” poster and indicates that a Morlock is missing. Kitty remarks that that is strange, but points out that the Morlocks don't usually want the X-Men's involvement. 'Nor do they come up from the sewers and put up flyers asking for help from a society that rejects them' Bobby adds, before suggesting that maybe there is a new group down there. He tells Kitty that he wants to go down into the catacombs tomorrow and investigate, as the cops certainly aren't going to help. Kitty tells Bobby to do it, and adds that he is going to need backup in case it is extra hostile. Kitty offers to coordinate with Storm, Bishop, Nightcrawler and Psylocke, and asks Bobby if that is a good enough team, adding that she thinks Prestige is available, too. 'Uh... yeah!' Bobby replies.
Back in the Danger Room, Eye-Boy looks frightened as the ice-golem slams a large hand down on him, Michael Ladak spits at the ice-golem, while Oya blasts it with fire. The ice-golem knocks Oya out of the way, 'Not today, ice-monst -' Michaela begins, before the ice-golem sits on her, forcing her to the ground. 'That's what you get for telling me Judah has a new boyfriend! And for following him on social media!' Bobby calls out to Michaela. 'But his stories have so many pics of his ab game!' Michaela calls back.
The next day: 'You ready?' Lucas Bishop asks as he sits in one of the mansion living rooms, slicing an apple with a knife, and looking up at Bobby, sternly. 'One sec' the surprised Bobby, wearing his 1990s blue costume, replies. 'Something wrong?' Bishop asks, walking over to Bobby, who tells him that Kitty painted a different picture, and that he is just checking on something. He texts Kitty and asks why his backup team is just Bishop, adding that Bishop is his favorite mutant from the future, but reminds Kitty that she promised him a team. Kitty reports that Jean and company needed help, as Searebro is under attack. 'Fine' Bobby replies, adding that Kitty could have told him. Kitty apologizes and tells Bobby that he knows he can handle it on his own anyway. Bobby turns back to Bishop and waves at him, telling him he is back. 'Yay, Iceman and Bishop team-up. When the law isn't enough, ice is back with a brand-new addition!' Bobby jokes. 'No' Bishop replies.
Shortly, Bobby and Bishop make their way through the underground Morlock tunnels, with Bishop shines a torch forward to light their way. Bobby asks Bishop how he has been, to which Bishop informs him that he teamed up with some of the other X-Men and fought the Shadow King, a guy he hates, and reminded him that he is constantly failing at future disasters. 'Telepaths – don't even get me started!' Bobby replies, before informing Bishop that he semi-led an X-team when the ladies were in non-exploitation movie prison, but that being the leader isn't all that much fun. Bishop ignores Bobby's comments and tells him to go left, as they are getting close. Bobby slides alongside Bishop and asks him if he hs okay taking directions from him. 'Pursuing outcast mutants in their dingy underground lair with Iceman isn't, like, the ideal situation. But – I'm making it fun!' Bobby exclaims.
Bishop suddenly, steps on something in the water. 'Aw, no.' he utters as he shines his torch down and sees a green-skinned mutant lying in the water. 'Crap. I didn't want to actually need backup' Bobby remarks, when suddenly, they hear a loud crashing noise, and someone shouts 'Come at me – try me!' and Bobby points out that their troubles have begun. They rush down another tunnel, and find two Morlocks being set upon by two men and a woman wearing blue costumes. 'Madin! To your left!' a gray-skinned mutant with gills telepathically calls out to the purple-skinned mutant who displays some sort of energy blade from their wrist while fighting one of the men in blue, who carries energy-battons. The other male in the blue costume rushes over to Madin and fiires energy at Grimlock, who dodges the attack, and tells the other Morlock, Grimlock, to stay back. 'They're being attacked by -' Bishop begins. 'Other ###### mutants' Bobby gasps.
Bobby slides into the battle and creates a large ice-fist which he uses to punch the mutant with the energy powers way from Madin. 'Mutant-on-mutant crime? Never okay!' Bobby exclaims. Madin lunges at Bobby, but her energy blades miss. 'The X-Men want in on this purge, too?' Madin asks. 'What? We're here to save you' Bobby replies. Grimlock tells Madin that he reads Iceman, and that he isn't lying – the X-Men are here to help stop this onslaught. 'Stop what? Iceman, what did we walk into here?' Bishop asks as he stands over Grimlock to protect him. 'Oh, only a mutant massacre!' the other male in blue exclaims as he runs forward, fists glowing with flaming energy, while the woman appears to use telekinesis to lift some rocks and hurl them towards the X-Men. But Bobby responds by trapping the man with the fire-hands in ice-bonds, and Bishop lunges at the woman, knocking her backwards. 'What gives with the targeted attacks?' Bishop asks.
The woman tells him that they are doing mutantkind a favor, boasting that their population is better off without this unsavory filth hiding in the shadows. Bishop's fist glows with energy as he holds it up above the woman's face, 'Facts' he demands. The one trapped in the ice-bonds reveals that they are part of a group on the dark web and are already thirteen members strong. He adds that a new user came on last week and then they alll had information in their heads – coordinates and images. 'I was just saying – telepaths. Don't get me started!' Bobby mutters, adding that he is shaking off the joke habit. 'You're still trash' he tells the man in the blue costume, before punching him in the face, knocking him out. Bobby tells Bishop that someone set them up to do this, and they're in a button-mash situation all over again.
Bishop and Madin look at Bobby in silence. 'Man, I've seen you teach students. I know you're able to speak directly and coherently...what are you talking about?' Bishop declares. Bobby smiles and tells Bishop that this baker's dozen of faux-Marauders has no strategy. 'We control the fight'. He then offers to sled through the sewers and handle this with some ice-golems. 'No' Madin tells Iceman, pointing out that the Marauders will come back twice as hard when the X-Men aren't around. 'I'm fixing your problem -' Bobby begins, 'With a band-aid. I can't risk dozens of lives so you can pat yourself on the back' Madin declares. Iceman asks Bishop to guard Grimlock while she sends out a suggestion to Dark ABBA. 'You wanna draw them out in whole? They've all got powers and are trigger-happy, Iceman' Bishop asks. Bobby replies that he isn't showboating, and offers to corral up any straggler Morlocks 'With, uhhhh...' Bobby remarks, looking at the purple-skinned mutant who replies 'Madin works'. Bobby smiles at Madin and tells her that she has the numbers, so how about they lead the bad guys to where the heart is?
Soon, in another part of the Morlock Tunnels, two other faux-Marauders have several Morlocks backed up against a wall. 'Do you hear something?' one of the Marauders asks as they move in towards the Morlocks – but before they can strike, they are knocked over by two beams of ice as Bobby slides in on an ice-sled, which Madin clings to as well. 'So, why do it?' Bobby asks. 'What?' Madin enquires. 'Live in the sewers. The Xavier Institute has a pretty lax open-door policy' Bobby replies, to which Madin tells him that he assumes every single mutant wants to live in that mansion, where violence is the first choice. 'I wasn't...I -' Bobby begins, as Madin reveals that she was inches away from being the first purple kid at Sarah Lawrence, but her brother wasn't so lucky – being a foot shorter than everyone else and shrieking like a girl at a Taylor Swift show is a rough way to turn 13.
Madin continues, revealing that her Aunt Dee kicked her brother out the minute neighborhood boys started calling Ash “Screamer”, and she couldn't leave him, didn't make it long until all they had were the sewers, and suddenly, she is responsible for her brother, who is now missing. 'You'd never understand that' Madin declares. Bobby tells Madin that he may act like the class clown, but that he comes through, as he has been doing this since high school. 'I'm good at the saving mutants stuff' Bobby assures her. Madin tells Iceman that she is out of options, and that his friend barely like this plan. 'So please be right' she asks.
Soon, in the Morlock safe haven called the Catacombs, a large open space in the tunnels where old subway trains have been left to rot, a large number of the faux-Marauders have gathered. 'Wait...where are they? You told me the Morlocks were all down here hiding in this garbage heap area' one of them exclaims. The all turn at the sound of Bishop's voice: 'My friend Grimlock here is sorry for putting those thoughts in your head. But you owe her an apology for that line about the heap...you're talking about her home!' Bishop exclaims, frowning, and energy glowing around his hands as he strides towards the faux-Marauders, with Grimlock at his side. 'Our home!' a Morlock with crab-like pincers exclaims as he and several others step from the shadows and begin to surround the faux-Marauders.
The Marauders look up as Iceman appears above them on his ice-sled, Madin and several others are with him. 'Here is where you schmmucks are never allowed. Recognize, this is the Morlocks' base of operations. It's their safe space. And you're not welcome here' Bobby tells them, before pointing out that even without the X-Men's help, the Morlocks still out number them. Indeed, more Morlocks appear and close in around the Marauders, as Bobby tells them that they can find out what happens when the Marauders don't have the element of surprise anymore – or they can surrender. 'What's it gonna be?' he asks. One of the Marauders angrily points up at Iceman and tells him that he doesn't understand, as he explains that the only way they will effectively bridge the gap between humans and mutants is by being – and looking – more alike. 'This cleanse is for the future of homo superior!' he shouts.
'Ew, what? No. why would I ever vibe with that?' Bobby asks, adding that his thing is making jokes in a dark and dreary world. 'How is that on-brand with genocide?' he enquires. 'You could be the ideal mutant, you align yourself with these -' the Marauder begins, before Madin shouts 'Enough! They want a massacre... let's give them one!' while Bobby leaps from the ice-sled, 'Sorry to clobber you!' he shouts as he lands on the ground and sends a wave of ice over three of the Marauders, trappping them. 'With pleasure' Bishop declares as one Marauder fires a yellow energy beam from their eyes, which Bishop absorbs and re-directs at another Marauder, striking them down.
'I light, we fight!' Madin calls out as she drops down into the battle. 'We fight!' other Morlocks call out as they use their powers against the Marauders – one extends snake-like arms around a Marauder, while another with wings fires some sort of acid at a different Marauder. Bobby uses an ice-golem to keep several Marauders busy, as Madin fights her foe head-to-head. 'Ooh, I like your catchphrase, Ultra Light Beam' Bobby calls out to Madin as he fires a beam of ice into the battle. 'Don't call me that' Madin snaps back, while Bishop punches a Marauder out and admits that this was a good plan. 'There's Iceman everywhere! Fall back!' one of the Marauders shouts, while a male Marauder suddenly slips away from the battle, down another tunnel, 'Nope... I did not sign up to get arrested by the X-Men...' he mutters.
Soon: 'Gimme a Spider-Man kiss!' Bobby calls out to the Maurader who he has hanging from the ceiling by an icicle. '###### you!' the Maurader snaps back. 'As if. I'm saving myself for Captain America' Bobby declares. 'You done?' Bishop asks as he cuffs another Marauder and tells Bobby that is the last one. 'Yup. I hate these clowns' Bobby replies, while Bishop reports that none of them have any intel on Madin's brother, Ash. 'Sounds like a case for the hottest new team on the streets, Iceshop!' Bobby suggests, before pausing, and admitting that the name needs some work. Madin approaches Bobby and Bishop and tells them that she knows their worlds haven't always lived harmoniously, but that it means a lot that somebody came to try and help.
'So many of us have family that we'd risk anything to save. For my sister, Shard, I went so far as to have her mind put in a -' Bishop begins, interrupted when Bobby exclaims 'Yeesh, Bishop, can you please stop making everything about yourself!?' Bobby smiles and assures Madin that they will get the X-Men to devote more resource to this case. The Morlocks look on and cheer as Bobby and Bishop sled away, with the faux-Marauders trapped on the ice-sled as well. 'Seriously, we've got your back. I promise not to be fair-weather neighbor anymore' Bobby calls out.
Elsewhere, in some sort of laboratory, a man leans over a table, where another man with red skin lies, motionless. The first man wears a mask over his face, and calls out 'Did you thin the herd?' as the remaining Marauder approaches him. 'They...beat us' the Marauder admits. 'I don't miscalculate. Their numbers have swelled the way all vermin does, and needed to be winnowed, yes...but you had more than enough to complete the cleanse, with one simple rule: bring me bodies' the man leaning over the table reminds the Marauder, before asking him why he failed. 'We were prepared to hunt some Morlocks. But X-Men?' the Marauder responds, reporting that Iceman and Bishop somehow found out about them and organized an attack – that the Morlocks had an entire army of Iceman on their side, so they were surrounded. 'I have two children – please don't kill me' the Marauder adds. 'Iceman... he made an army all on his own? Iceman. Fascinating...' the man leaning over the table remarks, pulling his mask away and revealing himself as Mr Sinister!
The Xavier Institute in Central Park, 'KITTY!' Bobby shouts as he and Bishop return. Bishop tells Bobby to slow down, but Bobby is annoyed: 'She trivialized my thing to help out Jean Grey and the already-elite X-Men, and we had to prevent Mutant Massacre Volume 2!' Bobby exclaims. 'So?' Bishop asks. 'Kitty shout know my instincts were right!' Bobby declares. 'She does, man' Bishop tells Bobby, before offering to give him some “Hindsight being 20/20” advice. 'Fine, but only because of your background in time travel' Bobby replies. 'First, the obvious – you think my day was supposed to be playing ride-along with you? No. But my leader has a lot on her plate, and she doesn't need a whiner in her ranks – she needs soldiers' Bishop declares, reminding Bobby that they got the job done, and that is the point. He suggests that Bobby report his findings after he has checked his ego.
'Hey, guys' Jubilee calls out as she approaches Bobby and Bishop in the corridor. 'Whoa. What has two eyes, compulsively chews gum and is the polar opposite of her Jubilation namesake' Bobby mutters. 'Ya face!' he laughs. 'I knew I'd need this' Jubilee replies, holding up a jar stuffed with money, and a label that reads “clunky dad joke jar”. Bobby puts some money into the jar as Jubilee informs him that he has a visitor. 'Oh God, is it my parents again?' Bobby asks, to which Jubilee tells him that she honestly can't remember. 'Whatever. Let it be my ex-boyfriend and my parents drinking tea with all my ex-girlfriends. I just helped saved the Morlocks, sorted out an idea for a buddy cop movie with Bishop... what can't I face?' Bobby points out, before walking into another room, he closes the door, and turns to see who is inside: 'Oh' he remarks solemnly. 'Now, now, darling. If you hold that expression any longer... your face is going to freeze like that' exclaims the woman holding a glass of alcohol in her hand as she sits upright in a chair across the room – Emma Frost!
