The sun rises over New York City, and inside Patsy and Ian's Brooklyn apartment, Patsy Walker a.k.a. Hellcat yawns as she wakes and stretches her arms above her. Her roommate Ian Soo knocks on her door asking her if she is awake. 'Mhm!' Patsy mumbles. 'Are you decent?' Ian asks. 'Depends on whom you ask!' Patsy responds, before she opens her door, and they smile at each other from sleepy eyes. 'You're a scandal, Walker' Ian tells his friend. 'Takes one to know one' Patsy responds, before asking Ian if Tom is awake. 'Har har' Ian laughs, before handing Patsy her mail and calling her “Pussycat”. Patsy tells Ian that he is the only person alive who could call her that and live to tweet about it. 'You made a topical joke involving modern technology! I might just faint!' Patsy smirks at this and tells Ian that she has changed her mind, he dies after all. Ian goes into the kitchen and asks Patsy if she wants some coffee. 'Yes, please. Extra sugar' Patsy calls back. 'I'm aware of your sins, you heathen' Ian jokes. 'I'm sorry if I like it – sweet merciful Furiosa!' Patsy gasps, wide-eyed as she reads her mail.
Patsy sits down in the living room, with Ian and Tom Hale sitting across from her. 'That can't be real. That's not a real number' Ian tells Patsy, who is still looking at the check she has received and remarks that there are so many zeroes, it is like a ghost, all “0000000”. Tom tells Patsy that she could buy his store with that, or half of Brooklyn. 'Or, well, more realistically, maybe, like, half of Whole Foods' Tom points out. Ian looks closely at the check and tells Patsy that he doesn't buy it. But Patsy finds another note in the envelope, and tells her friends that it is a letter from Jen. She starts to read the letter, which informs her that enclosed she will find the first instalment of royalties from the American Patsy Walker book publisher, as well as those for international distribution and a tentative film option, which she is still negotiating with her agent. The letter from Jennifer Walters explains that it took a while to put this together after wrestling the rights from Hedy, but that she thinks from here on out it should make things a little easier for her. The letter adds that things are a little easier for her, too, as she is taking fifteen percent.
'You have an agent?' Ian asks. 'I... guess?' Patsy replies, explaining that she never really dealt with her, that she kept calling, only she would hit ignore. Patsy reads the final part of the letter, in which Jen tells her that she is sorry she hasn't called, as she is dealing with more than she an handle, but promises she won't be gone forever, and that she misses her. Patsy then bursts into tears. Ian looks surprised, while Tom asks her if she is okay. Patsy leaps over the table between them and throws her arms around Ian and Tom: 'She's okay! My best friend is okay and doesn't hate me and I'm rich!' she exclaims. 'My ribs!' Tom utters, before Patsy leaps back, knocking the table and the coffees over. 'This is the best day of my life!' Patsy shouts, while Ian uses his telekinesis to stop the coffees from spilling everywhere. 'You know what this means, right?' Patsy asks her friends....
'It's time to go SHOPPING!' Patsy shrieks soon after, as she, Ian, Tom and Jubilee gather at the mall. Grinning, Jubilee declares that she can't even believe this, and asks Patsy if she is serious – this is all her treat. 'I've never seen Patsy Walker more serious about anything' Ian smiles. Jubilee grins and glows with vampire energy as she points out that it is a Tuesday at 11 AM and they have the mall to themselves. 'We have so much to do. Clothes? Shoes? Games? Nails? Pretzels? The arcade? Where do we even START!' Jubilee asks, half-crazed. Ian remarks that they might sit out the arcade part, but Jubilee quickly tells them that they have to be part of this experience. 'You do not mess with Jubilation Lee when it comes to the mall. What she says goes' Patsy grins. 'See? She gets it' Jubilee tells Tom and Ian. 'Point taken' Ian replies. Jubilee frames one of her eyes with her fingers and tells her three friends that what they need - what everyone needs – is a MAKEOVER!
'Oh, I could get used to this treatment' Ian declares as he tries on some trendy new clothes. 'We're so cute!' Patsy exclaims as she puts on a blue dress with red hearts. 'I dunno about this, guys. I kinda like my look. This is a little... bland' Tom remarks as he tries on a green suit, while Jubilee is wearing a skimpy outfit and tells him to do his look, but dial it up to an eleven. 'This is showtime, people! The big leagues!' Tom is wearing one of his more traditional outfits (lumberjack!) and leans in to Ian, 'Like so?' he asks his boyfriend. 'Yes, please' Ian replies, striking a pose in some black jeans. The original mallrat is wearing her classic yellow trenchcoat and tells the others that is what she is talking about. 'Fashion shouldn't be some strict set of rules about what fabric for which body – it's a form of expression, so, express!' Jubilee declares. Patsy looks curiously at the price tag of a short purple dress she tries on and remarks that it is a lot more fun when you can afford it. 'You earned this, kiddo! Go big or go home!' Jubilee grins as she peers over the changing room. 'And NEVER go home!' Jubilee laughs.
Patsy tries on a two-piece bathing suit and admits that she has been out of the game for a while a while and needs their honest opinions. 'I like it. It's very you' Tom smiles at the blue jeans and pink top that Patsy has lined up next. 'Um, if you don't buy this for yourself, I call dibs' Ian tells Patsy, referring to a purple dress. Jubilee looks unimpressed as Patsy's Hellcat costume comes up next, and points out that they are at the mall, so why would she wear her costume?
Suddenly, the lights go out and the store is plunged into darkness. 'Because you just never know, do you, Jubes?' Hellcat remarks. Tom tells the others that it is only a power outage and that malls like this usually have a generator, so the power will be back on in no time. 'But it's so dark! Why is it so dark?' the wide-eyed Ian asks. 'No windows. Part of why I love this complex so much – no spontaneous combustion' Jubilee explains. Ian tells her that he always forgets she is a vampire. 'Evvvverybody does' Jubilee tells him, announcing that, luckily, she still knows a few tricks. 'Voila' Jubilee declares as she holds up a sparkler firework, creating a glow of light around them. Patsy suggests that they help get people out safely, when suddenly, someone calls out 'Hey! You can't come back here! You – aaaaah!' The sparkler runs out, and the heroes are plunged into darkness again. 'What was that?' someone calls out. 'Over there!' another exclaims. 'I can't see!' one of them declares. 'I can! Follow me!' another tells the others, when suddenly, light fills the mall once again. 'Eek! So much light!' Jubilee calls out, switching to her cloud form, while Patsy, Ian and Tom run out of the clothing store and into the mall, where two young women in white wigs are standing on a bench. 'So you've found us at last, Hellcat!' one of them exclaims.
They are wearing pink and purple costumes, and the shorter of the women boasts 'We are your worst nightmares. Your deepest fears. When we're done with you, all will cower before the legend of the Somnambulisters!' The taller of the two agrees: 'What she said!' she exclaims. 'I'm sorry, who?' Ian asks, unimpressed. 'Like somnambulism? Sleepwalking? Is that what you're going for?' Tom asks them. 'I'm confused, do I know you?' Hellcat asks the young women. 'Yes, like, somnambulist plus sisters, get it, because there's two of us? It makes sense!' the shorter of the two women snaps, while the taller reveals that they are not actually sisters. 'Thank goodness' the shorter remarks. 'What?' the taller asks. 'Man, why did I beat myself up so much about Telekinian?' Ian jokes, referring to his non-codename, to which Jubilee tells him that she always thought it was kind of cute. 'Are you two here to...what are you doing, exactly?' Hellcat asks them. 'They're not cowering' the taller of the Somnambulisters points out. 'They would be if you would quit wrecking our dramatic introduction!' the shorter sister shouts, throwing her arms in the air. Hellcat grins and asks the women if they need a minute, to which the shorter sister snaps 'I will drain your life essence, foolish mortal!'
Suddenly, the shorter women leaps towards Hellcat, 'Know the meaning of fear!' she shrieks. 'Vampires? Are you kidding?' Jubilee asks, while Tom and Ian look on, confused. The shorter sister attempts to punch Hellcat, who steps aside, as the sister warns her that she will end her reign of goodness. 'I will wreck your perfect hairdo and flawless, glowing skin!' she threatens Hellcat. 'My...thank you?' Hellcat asks. 'Take this, also!' the taller sister exclaims as she throws something at Hellcat and the others, engulfing them in a blue cloud. Hellcat, Ian and Tom begin to cough, but Jubilee informs them it was just a cheap smoke bomb. 'How do you like that, you beautiful, ginger miracle?' the shorter sister asks, punching Hellcat in her stomach. 'Uggg...my washboard abs...' Patsy mutters, clutching her stomach. The blue smoke bomb has cleared, and Ian traps the short sister in a telekinetic field, lifting her up, he tells her to get her pasty hands off his roommate. 'Omigosh! This is so cool!' the sister grins as she floats above the others. 'Are you getting this?' she asks, turning to her “sister”, who is filing the goings-on with her phone. 'It is so legit' she replies. Jubilee, Hellcat and Ian all frown, before Ian lifts the taller sister into the air as well, surprising her.
Jubilee sees some necklaces in a store window and calls out to Hellcat, who looks at them and grins 'Got it', before calling out to the sisters, throwing one of the necklaces towards them, the necklace has a cross hanging from it. 'HISSSSS!!' the shorter sister snarls from within the telekinetic field. 'Nooo! Our greatest weakness!' the other sister exclaims. 'As creatures of the night...we...as the undead, we fear...' the short sister begins, before looking forlorn. 'Ahhh, help...' the second sister mutters. 'Boy, they almost got us, huh, gang?' Hellcat asks. 'I knew it!' Jubilee calls out, while Ian lets the sister to the ground. 'Hey, wait, let's not jump to any conclusions' the shorter sister suggests, while the older sister asks 'Why did I let you talk me into this? My mom's gonna kill me, Josh will never ask me to prom...' to which the shorter sister spins around and angrily snaps 'Would you shut up about your stupid non-boyfriend, Stevie?' to which Stevie asks 'I thought you said not to use our names, Danica?' 'You could've been in charge if you'd done any of the planning!' Danica snaps. 'Oh, because yours worked out so great!' Stevie points out.
'Um, hello?' Hellcat calls out to them, hands on hips. 'Aw, beans' Danica mumbles. 'Bear with me for a second. I've got a theory' Hellcat announces as she suddenly pulls the white wigs off Stevie and Danica, who both scream and cover their faces. 'Annnd... confirmed' Hellcat declares. Stevie and Danica close their eyes as Danica tells Hellcat not to look at them 'We're your terrifying nemeses...' she claims. Wide-eyed, Ian tells Hellcat that they know these two. 'We sure do. Jubilee, Tom, meet the Walker Stalkers!' Hellcat exclaims, introducing the two women, she tells them that she thought they had come to an understanding. Nervously, Stevie utters that they are so screwed, and tells Danica that she can't believe she let her talk her into this. 'I'm gonna barf. I can feel it. It's happening' Danica replies. Patsy suggests that they have a chat.
Soon, Patsy, Jubilee, Tom and Ian are seated in a booth across from Danica and Stevie, who declares that they are so sorry, and asks not to be arrested, adding that it was all Danica's stupid idea. 'It was NOT!' Danica snaps. Patsy tells them to cut it out, and asks them how they found out who she was. Looking at Danica, Stevie announces that she is like a crazy person, that she follows all of Patsy's social media, tracked her schedule, followed her and saw her transform. 'Would you shut up?' Danica mutters. 'No! You never let me say anything until I was iin that dumb costume, and I am so tired of you talking down to -' Stevie begins, but Patsy asks them to stop again. 'Second, why?' Hellcat asks. 'Because she's in love with you, obviously' Stevie states. 'I am not. God, I just... ugh!' Danica mutters, before she goes wide-eyed and, looking at Patsy, tells her thatr she really likes her books, and that when she found out she was an honest-to-gosh super hero, she thought, maybe if they were villains, they could, like, hang out or something. 'Told you she was in love with you' Stevie declares.
Danica tells Stevie to shut up, and adds 'Half the reason I even did this was so you'd think I was cool!' Tom Ian, Patsy and Jubes all go wide-eyed and smile, as Stevie asks 'What? Why?' 'Because you're too cool to be my friend, and I'm scared you'll figure that out' Danica explains. 'No, I'm not! I'm a dork! We met at an anime convention' Stevie reminds her. 'So?' Danica asks. 'Once you and Josh start hanging out, you'll forget all about me!' Danica explains. Patsy and Jubilee look at each other, confused, while Stevie asks what this has to do with Josh. '...never mind!' Danica snaps. Ian smiles and tells Patsy that he sees what is happening here. 'Wait, you do? Fill me in' Patsy asks. 'You like her' Ian remarks. Danica blushes as Stevie looks at her. 'What?' Patsy and Stevie ask in unison. 'Aw, beans' Danica smiles.
Soon, everyone is gathered outside a store called Goth Topic. Ian and Tom are speaking to Danica, while Patsy ad Jubilee stand with Stevie. Ian tells Danica that what they are going to do is take back everything she stole and then, if she is okay with it, he and Tom would like to take her to Tom's bookstore. 'No pressure, but there are some great resources for teens' Tom informs her. 'You really had no idea?' Jubilee asks Stevie, who reveals that they had been friends since they were ten, and that she has never said anything. 'But, I mean...I never thought about it, either' Stevie admits. 'What's happening now?' Patsy asks. 'The short one's in love with the tall one. And I think the tall one might like her back' Jubilee explains. 'OH!' Patsy gasps. 'Sorry, I'm painfully straight, sometimes' Patsy points out, casually. 'Sure y'are, Pats' Jubilee replies.
'I, uh – just to clarify – are we getting arrested?' Stevie asks. 'Not today, kiddo' Jubilee replies, to which Patsy tells her that if they do it again tomorrow, then they will get arrested tomorrow. Jubilee asks Patsy how many bad guys she has sent to jail in the last year or so, and Patsy replies 'No... many?' so Jubes suggests to Patsy that she has to stop befriending her villains 'I like people, that's all!' Patsy points out.
Jubilee then asks Patsy if she is going to shut down the temp agency, but Patsy tells her that she doesn't know, as she needs to figure some stuff out. She adds that she has the money now, either way. 'Oh, hey! Do you want a raise? And a bigger office? You don't have to stay in the closet!' Patsy grins at Jubilee. Nearby, Ian and Tom listen with anticipation, while Stevie and Danica smile at each other. 'You're a good person, Patsy Walker. You know that, right?' Jubilee asks. I...thank you. That means a lot' Patsy replies. Jubilee tells Patsy that she knows it has been hard, and that she isn't Jen, but that it has been an absolute joy working with her, whatever happens. 'Jubes!' Patsy exclaims as Jubilee throws her arms around Patsy, who grins and tells Jubilee that she is the best teen-mom-vampire-assistant that a cat-girl could ask for. 'Aw, you're just saying that' Jubilee replies. 'Nuh—uh' Patsy assures her. Patsy wipes a tear from her eyes and tells Jubilee that she misses Jen, but that she, Ian, Tom, Sharon and everyone she has met since she started at 68 Jay Street, they are the best friends she has ever had.
And soon, Patsy, Jubilee, Tom and Ian sit on the edge of a fountain in the middle of the mall, while all around Patsy her other friends and associates – Shogo Lee waddles towards Jubilee, Howard the Duck and Tam Tam wave at Patsy, while Valkyrie stands nearby. Attache sits with Federigo Ravina and Mr Ravina, while Belial gets down on one knee and proposes to Hedy Wolfe. Jessica Jones and Luke Cage walk with their daughter, Danielle, and nearby, Squirrel Girl, America Chavez and Kate Bishop walk with some pizza. Sharon King plays on an arcade game, while Dr Strange and Wong try on some hats.
The Black Cats gang even make an appearance, while the Walker Stalkers smile at each other, and Angie Huang, with Hei-Hei on her shoulder looks up at Mad-Dog as he and Daimon Hellstrom make their way towards Patsy. Patsy Walker a.k.a. Hellcat just throws her hands up into the air and smiles at everyone.
