First story:
The young men and women that comprise the mutant team known as X-Force – Shatterstar, Warpath, Domino, Siryn, Sunspot and Boomer – together with former member Cannonball are about to play some beach volleyball. With the kids having seen more than their share of fighting, bloodshed and death, their mentor, Cable, felt that “enough already” and decided to take the team to the tiny South Sea island known as Kali – for some sun, surf and fun! Cable now sits on a lifeguard’s elevated tower overlooking the match and shouting, “Let’s get to it.” It’s Boomer, Caliban, Siryn and Domino versus Sunspot, Shatterstar, Warpath and Cannonball!
“Eat this, Guthrie!” Tabitha screams as she serves the ball. Siryn applauds her for her nice serve. Domino urges the girls to look alive: they are only one point away from soaking these wimps! As the ball heads to Sam’s way, Bobby urges him to “take it to them!” Similarly, Shatterstair proclaims this is a matter of honor and James asks Sam to set it up! “Ah got it!” Sam repeatedly shouts as he’s about to make an underarm pass at the ball coming towards him.
However, Sam falls on the ground, missing the ball. Fortunately for the boys, Sunspot moves rapidly across the field and deflects the ball in time. As the ball reaches the girls’ side, their sole male teammate, Caliban, admits he’s confused. Making an underarm pass, Siryn asks him to concentrate on the game. However, Caliban tells Domino that, if they are playing boys against girls, why is he on the girls’ side? “Caliban is a boy!” he insists, referring to himself in third person as usual. Losing her patience, Domino explains for the billionth time that they did it to even out the sides. “And give us a handicap,” she admits to herself.
Hearing this, the guys joke “I’ll switch sides!” Shatterstar kicks the ball, remarking that they may all joke if they wish but he takes all competition seriously. Shatterstar’s kick sends the ball on Caliban’s head and is then ricocheted towards some bushes nearby. Theresa rushes to the ball. Unbeknownst to her, it’s not the real ball she picks up – concealed under some branches nearby – but what appears to be the ball.
Handing the ball over to James, since it is his turn to serve, Theresa wishes him good luck: he’ll need it. James insists they’ll see who needs the luck. Cable reminds James this is the game point. This game is for the undisputed bragging rights for the rest of the weekend. Warpath feels the pressure and finally serves the ball, remarking that, as the X-Men used to say, “One fastball special, comin’ up!”
The ball makes some weird spins on the air, though, and the girls fail making contact with it. Tabitha argues that’s cheating. Suddenly, everyone is puzzled to see the ball transformed into a green/purple lobster! The “lobster” starts talking like a sportscaster and goes flying all the way to Cable, attaching itself on his face! Trying to breathe, Cable makes desperate efforts to take it off his face. Suddenly, Cable and the lobster are momentarily lost in a puddle in a light. The next moment, Cable is grabbing the green-skinned Impossible Man from his neck!
Furious, Cable informs his assailant he just made a big mistake. Most of the X-Force is puzzled by who this being is, but Cannonball conceals his face in his hands in despair, mumbling “not him!” He informs them this is the Impossible Man. He tells Cable he comes from this planet called Poppup and as silly as he may appear… he is extremely powerful.
Domino advises Nathan that maybe he ought to let this being go before he turns… blue. Tabitha assures them they don’t know what they’re in for. Sam has told her he’s megawatt trouble! Cable asks Impossible Man if that’s true: is he here to give them trouble? Disgruntled, Impossible Man exclaims that he’s never been treated so…! He pauses, as her remembers there was that time with the Fantastic Four, but Mr. Grimm didn’t have much in the way of a sense of humor. Cable bluntly informs him neither does he.
Impossible Man finally cuts to the cheese and informs them that, since his last visit, he’s been blessed by fatherhood. Three darling “Impossible Kids”: everything a parent would want actually. They lack only a modicum of discipline. Thus, and since they meet the age requirement, what better way to learn than with one’s peers by joining X-Force! Cable insists he’d love to have them but according to their by-laws, paragraph 9F, subparagraph “D,” no new members are allowed during any month ending in an “r”! They wouldn’t want to go against the by-laws, would they? “No!” the team unanimously agrees.
Cable believes the Impossible Man should leave now since they can’t really be of any help to him. Scrunching, twisting and bending him, he again shapes Impossible Man into a ball, kicking him in the sea and urging him to have a nice trip and write if he finds work! Sam believes that was not a good idea. Undaunted, Cable blows his whistle, urging them to play volleyball.
Soon after the game resumes, the earth trembles and Impossible Man erupts from the ground, now transmogrified into a giant worm-like monster and tells Cable that wasn’t very nice. Nathan interrupts him, admitting he’s right. All he asks is that since they’re on vacation, Impossible Man waits until they get back to civilization and then calls his office to make an appointment. Impossible Man cries that’s not fair! He has to take care of his problem right away.
Cable urges him to stop that; it’s annoying. Impossible Man is probably used to getting his own way but that won’t cut with him. Defeated, Impossible Man vanishes. Cable boasts, “You just need to know how to handle them.”
Impossible Man, however, doesn’t let the team be. In the next few hours, he shape-shifts into the towel Domino is about to use after having a bath. Upon realizing who/what the towel is, Domino screams Cable’s name. Later, the team is having a picnic; much to everyone’s chagrin, though, Impossible Man has transformed himself into the basket containing the food, offering everybody some mustard! A little bit later, Tabitha and Theresa are sitting by the hotel pool. Tabitha wonders what figure it cost Cable to rent out this whole place for them. A waiter serves Theresa her oysters. As she opens the shell, she sees a tiny Impossible Man begging her to take his kids, just for a little while!
As night falls, Sam and Tabitha are walking along the coast. Sam finds it pretty there. Tabitha wishes they could be like this all the time – except for the part with the Impossible Man. Sam knows it’s been hard since he left the team but he doesn’t think Cable would graduate him if he didn’t think he was ready. Tabitha, however, insists that Cable isn’t right all the time. Sam asks her if this is why she wanted them to come out here in the moonlight and skip dinner. Tabitha’s response is negative as she puts her arms around Sam’s shoulders and kisses him.
Soon, Sam and Tabitha catch up with the others, who are already having dinner alfresco, in the company of live music, courtesy of their hotel resort. As natives dance on stage, a woman holding a microphone welcomes everybody to the Kali-Kali Resort – where their service is only surpassed by their island delicacies! Tonight, the Kali-Kali dancers bring them in native tribal dance. As they say in Kali, “quanta mosota delaya,” which means “may the sun always shine and the skies remain blue.”
Cable confides in Domino his confidence that this is the last they’ve seen of the Imposs… Domino stops him, telling him not to jinx it.
The woman with the microphone informs them that the island was once ruled by a horrific sea creature, called Barrachus the Kalinator that could only be defeated by one pure at heart. If Barrachus should return, which among them could defeat him?
Cable thinks this stuff is ridiculous but loves it. Impossible Man suddenly materializes in Cable’s arms, exclaiming that “ridiculous” is his middle name! He believes Cable should meet two of his kids whose names are “ridiculous” – that is, if Popponians had names! Startled by the alien’s appearance, Cable accidentally overturns the table, causing every food and drink to fall on top of his not-quite-pleased students.
Furious, Cable tells Impossible Man to get this through his green pointed head: his kids are his problem. “Now go away!” he yells. Impossible Man begs him to help him. He tried being a responsible parent but this discipline thing eludes him – maybe if he could just talk to them…
Siryn puts the matter in another way: if Cable doesn’t take care of this problem, he’s going to have a much bigger one on his hands! Domino also whispers to his ear to meet these “impossible kids”: how much trouble could they be? Nathan gives some money to the hotel staff to compensate for the damage done and finally tells Impossible Man to bring out his kids. Enthused, Impossible Man summons them.
The earth shudders as Impossible Man’s three teenage kids – two sons and a daughter – approach from the woods. They all look bored and aloof. In despair, Cable realizes they’re slackers: every parent’s nightmare! It’s going to take a lot to get them motivated.
Part 2
Nobody is at the lobby of the Kali-Kali resort hotel. The hotel is renowned for its décor and service but with its being at full capacity and only nine actual guests, things are a bit relaxed. Impossible Man shows up, however, and rings the bells at the reception repeatedly until he finally shapes his hand into a hammer and smashes it, in frustration!
The receptionist finally shows up. Dressed in full tourist outfit, complete with camera and traveling bags, Impossible Man tells him he would like to check in. The receptionist is terribly sorry but they have no more rooms. Impossible Man insists he’ll take a room on the thirteenth floor. The receptionist replies they have no thirteenth floor. Impossible Man informs him they have now. The man argues that’s impossible. However, thanks to the shapeshifting abilities of Impossible Man and his kids, a green/purple thirteenth floor is indeed suddenly created!
In awe, the receptionist asks him how many are in his party. With a smile, Impossible Man replies that depends: are children free? Only under the age of twelve, the man informs him. Impossible Man then replies there’s just one person in his party: himself – and he will take care carrying his own… luggage. Still in shock, the receptionist thinks that he thought he had seen it all when the large purple one kept saying to him “Caliban likes you!”
In his bedroom, Cable grabs an extra hour of sleep. Slowly opening his eyes, Nathan is puzzled by the color of his pillow: it’s bright green! The “pillow” is, of course, Impossible Man who gleefully informs Cable his kids are up and raring to go! “Why couldn’t this all be a bad dream…?” Cable woefully thinks.
Soon, the entire team sans Cable and Domino is gathered in the hotel rec room, all wearing their swimsuits. Undaunted, the kids of Impossible Man are comfortable seated on a couch, watching Saved by the Bell on TV! Holding the ball, Theresa asks the kids to listen to her. Cable wants the team to include them in their fun – so, will they get of their “duffs” and turn the blasted telly off?!
One of the kids tells the team they’re in the way. Siryn insists it’s a beautiful day outside. The others tell her it’s no use pounding her head against a brick wall: it’s their tough luck if they don’t wanna have fun. As the team exits the room, Shatterstar sits among the aliens, happily proclaiming that this is a fairly intriguing episode of the show. He tells them that the character called “Screech” has to dress up in… Siryn’s head appears on the door. She tells Shatterstar to get his buns out here on the double!
A little bit later, the team enjoys some water sports. The boys are driving boats, Cannonball and Warpath on one of them, Sunspot on another and Shatterstar with Caliban on the third. Theresa and Tabitha are waterskiing, following Shatterstar’s boat. Sam challenges Bobby to race him round a big greenish rock they can see close to them. Impossible Man’s kids are watching them from the beach, lazy and aloof as always. One of them asks his siblings what X-Force called this. His brother replies they called it “fun.”
Whilst continuing racing, Bobby discusses with Sam on Impossible Man’s kids, finding them to be a bunch of dweebs. “Diff’rent strokes for diff’renet folks,” Sam replies. They, of all people, should understand that.
Theresa confides in Tabitha she almost feels badly for those kids: missing out on all of this! Tabitha jokingly asks her what they are supposed to do: hold their hands? Siryn reminds her she said “almost feel bad” and cackles!
Bobby thinks the sea is getting choppier, as seen around the greenish rock. Warpath has a question for Bobby: is it his imagination or is that rock growing? Sunspot wonders whether Warpath’s gone loco. How can a rock grow?!
Suddenly, the rock proves to be an enormous fish-like sea beast, complete with fish scales, who springs out of the water, howling “WHO DARES DISTURB BARRACHUS, THE KALINATOR?!” His rise causes a great uproar to the sea, causing all the boats to overturn. The team finds itself swimming. Terrified, Caliban screams he can’t swim! Theresa grabs him, urging him to calm down.
Swimming away from the monster, Bobby wonders if Sam’s thinking what he’s thinking. “Ya mean, what’s green and purple and appears outta nowhere?!” Cannonball responds. He tells Bobby he doesn’t buy this “Kalinator” for one minute. Warpath suggests they discuss this on shore before they all drown! Meanwhile, Impossible Man’s children walk to the hotel, asking each other, stoic as always, “What do you want to do?”
The Kalinator walks out of the sea, causing people on the beach to flee in panic. The monster argues this island may have changed since last he awoke but still there is no one to oppose him! The woman recounting the Kalinator “fable” the previous night kneels to the ground, realizing the legends are true. She prays to the gods of Kali to send them a deliverer! Sunspot indeed shows up and flies upwards with her, moments before she would have been squashed by the Kalinator’s foot. The woman insists Bobby doesn’t understand: they’re all doomed! Nothing can stop the Kalinator!
Siryn and Cannonball fly around the Kalinator, still mistaking him for the Impossible Man. Siryn reminds him that Cable told him to stop this nonsense whereas Sam points to the fact he’s wrecking a lot of people’s stuff. Still, he realizes the “Impossible Man” isn’t listening, as the beast proceeds to grab the hotel building.
Inside the hotel, the now armed Domino, rushes towards Cable’s room, hoping Cable’s not sleeping – he’s a bear when he first wakes up. Kicking the door of his room open, she finds him on the shower! Surprised, Nathan remarks she’d better have a good reason to be there.
Suddenly, the Kalinator devours the walls surrounding Cable’s room. Domino asks him if that’s good enough reason for him. Cable hastily puts on a towel as his three flying students, Siryn, Cannonball and Sunspot, approach, a little shocked to see him in the nude. Ever-shy, Sam suggests he puts some clothes on.
Also mistaking the Kalinator for the Impossible Man, Cable stands before the beast, telling the “purple and green wingnut” to listen up – he’s taken this way too far, so why doesn’t he just pop out of here? The Impossible Man suddenly materializes himself from a chain Cable wears around his neck, asking if that’s it: he scolded a monster?! How about some of that world-class butt kicking action? Astonished, the X-Force members wonder that, if that’s the Impossible Man, then… who the heck is the monster?
The Kalinator suddenly roars and literally devours Sam, Bobby and Theresa alive! Tabitha keeps pumping the monster with her time-bombs whereas James asks Caliban to lend him a hand and see if they can topple this beast. Caliban insists he’s trying but the monster is heavy! While Cable is putting some clothes on and frantically looking for his belt, the Kalinator grabs the remaining members of X-Force – minus Domino – with Tabitha exclaiming this isn’t fun!
Seeing his students devoured, Cable acts on pure instinct and adrenaline and unleashes a telekinetic blast against the beast – to no result. Domino starts shooting the Kalinator but informs Cable of the dismal news: they are hopelessly outclassed here. Nathan remarks it’s obvious they’re going to need some help to get X-Force out of there and find a way to stop this thing. “Who?” Domino wonders. The X-Men will never get here in time.
Impossible Man makes his appearance, accompanied by his kids. Dead serious now, the Impossible Man tells them that help has arrived: his kids are going to help X-Force or no television for a month! Cable regrets they didn’t just go to Disneyland like he wanted to!
For a moment, the beast stops. Contained alive in the belly of the beast is the entire team of X-Force, giving the Kalinator the worst case of heartburn! Warpath suggests they’ve got to get out of here before this creature has the time to properly digest them. Shatterstar believes that there, in the belly of the beat, there must be some clues to its defeat and starts slashing the monster’s flesh with his sword.
On the beach, Impossible Man thinks this isn’t what he had in mind at all. He realizes his kids are failures… he is a failure… how is he ever going to explain this to the Impossible Woman? His despair is cut short by the Kalinator squashing him with his foot. Flat like a paper, the Impossible Man is swept away by a breeze. His offspring watch him, ever-aloof; instead, the Impossible Man’s daughter wonders if they’re gonna miss Melrose Place tonight!
Furious, Cable scolds the kids, reminding them this is not some television show: this is real life! Their father – no matter what else they thought of him – only wanted something better for them! “Whoa… real life” one of the kids exclaims. Suddenly motivated, the kids realize they should help. All of three of them instantly shapeshift into three guns. Cable picks up the guns, merging them into one, realizing he may not know what these guns will do, but Guthrie claimed these “Popponians” are supposed to be very powerful. As he pulls the trigger of one of the “gun,” aiming to the Kalinator, the “gun” is grumping, telling him not to so squeeze so hard!
Nathan tosses the guns aside, thinking that these idiots have him acting like an idiot, forgetting one of his earliest lessons: use everything at your disposal. He telepathically goes deep into the Kalinator’s mind and finds the dark secret that everyone has, the one thing it itself fears. He then transfers the secret in the minds of Impossible Man’s offspring, urging them to shapeshift into the Kalinator’s greatest fear and prove to their father, their friends and themselves that they have value beyond what everyone sees.
The three kids transform themselves into a sea monster so huge it makes the Kalinator look small in comparison. “M-Mother…?” the Kalinator mumbles in terror, seeing the horrible monster roaring. Kalinator’s “mom” devours him in an instant. Domino asks Cable how he expects to get X-Force back now. Fortunately, the “impossible monster” throws up the team, safe and sound, save for their utter disgust for being littered all over by the Kalinator’s bodily fluids!
Impossible Man also reappears and embraces Cable, thanking him for getting his kids motivated: the entire galaxy will know the name of Nathan Dayspring Summers! The kids themselves admit that was kind of cool. Enthused, Impossible Man asks them if they learnt anything from this little experience. Transforming into different versions of Cable, the three Poponians state that the “why” of any situation is secondary to the situation itself; what is… is; they must protect the innocent – even though they may fear and hate them! The kids decide to depart since there are universes depending on them now! Indeed, the whole “impossible family” finally vanishes away in a puddle of light.
Cable asks the team who’s up for a game of volleyball. Ostensibly pissed, Tabitha notices that Cable somehow got through this whole mess without getting a tiny bit of goo on him: she suggests they throw him in the ocean! Cable pleads them to calm down. They shouldn’t blame him; they should blame the Impossible Man! The team starts chasing him, however, and Cable flees in panic, calling for Domino to help!
Second story:
Domino is standing in an alley. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a shadow shift where no shadow should be. Mixed in with the sounds of traffic, she hears the slightest rustle of clothing. Her hackles go up; her adrenaline surges. There is a certain appeal to danger that excites her. She turns to face her stalker; expose him and force him to action.
It’s a black-clad ninja that lands from above. Domino deflects him with a kick as he attacks her. Behind her, two more ninjas drop without a sound but Domino spots them anyways. As she beats them with grace and fluidity, she thinks that, after years of training, her muscle memory impresses even her. God, I’m good, she thinks. Rendering the two ninjas unconscious, she wonders who they might work for… who might have sent them?
The third ninja is still on his feet and unleashes his shuriken stars against her. Domino uses a girder as a shield and then hurls it onto the ninja. Apparently a robot, the ninja releases some incomprehensible electronic sounds and collapses. “That’s all you got?!” Domino yells, her snide remarks aimed at the mysterious person sending the ninjas after her. Domino confesses aloud that she though he might give her a challenge. Suddenly, someone replies “You want a challenge? Me, too.”
The person who just uttered that steps out of the shadows – it’s another Domino! The true Domino is driven mad: someone using the doppelganger routine again? She’s had someone try to impersonate her before – take her place. But the metamorph Copycat was never her. She was good but she wasn’t good enough. Thinking this, Domino incessantly punches and kicks her doppelganger and quickly knocks her out.
“Don’t tell me I’ve run your entire gamut already!” Domino again boasts aloud. Someone else attacks her from behind, though. She turns around, wondering whether her mysterious antagonist is throwing at her another of his little toys.
Surprisingly, she sees her former Six Pack teammate, Grizzly. Bordering on insanity, Grizzly begs her to do it while she still can: shoot him! Shocked, Domino thinks that the lunatic has certainly done his homework and unrooted a way to hurt her. The wound is still so fresh… like yesterday. Domino assumes her opponent has changed the rule – lowered his standards. Is nothing sacred anymore? She momentarily recalls the day Grizzly died.
(flashback)
Grizzly had confessed that he – Genesis – had made him do horrible things that will never go away. He implores her to pull the trigger if she still cares for him at all. Domino desperately insists there’s got to be something they can do. Grizzly, however, grabs the gun Domino’s aiming and pulls the trigger himself.
(present time)
Domino tells herself she couldn’t stop him. There was nothing she could do. Her opponent is trying to use it against her, manipulating her emotions, playing with her head, hoping that this will unnerve her – that she can’t fight a memory so dark and painful. Domino, however, is not about to be defeated by her own emotions. She won’t allow herself to be twisted like that. She’s going to beat Grizzly’s robotic doppelganger but not like this – not with a gun.
Jumping on a big garbage can she sees nearby, Domino invites the “Grizzbot” to come and get her. Domino thinks it’s ironic how contrary this arrangement is: her adversary keeps trying to kill her and she lets him try. It gives her a thrill, though, and after all, he never wins. The confrontations he throws at her always seem to test her strength and skill – challenges of the highest physical level. But this time he tried to beat her psychologically, using her emotions against her, banking on how life-like his toys can be; testing her mettle rather than her muscle.
The “Grizzbot” indeed jumps on the garbage can, screaming that he’s making him do it, he’s making him kill her – repeating the same words the true Grizzly kept telling Domino the day he died. Domino averts his attack, jumping away and the robot impales itself on a “No Playing” sign next to the can.
Domino boasts she’s beaten him again! She assumes she must really be getting under his skin to cause such a drastic change in strategy. She supposes she should take it again as a compliment. “By the way” she adds, “I knew where you were all along!” Saying this, she hurls the pole of the sign on the little van that was stationed in the street across the alley. The pole opens a huge hole on the van. “So… same time next year… Arcade?!” Domino exclaims. Indeed, Arcade is seen in the van. With a sardonic smile, he admits he really thought he had her this time. He won’t be satisfied till he wins and she loses – her life! He agrees he will see Domino again – sooner than she thinks.
