A young Bullseye is walking through his school yard whilst all the other kids laugh at him. He is wearing a burgler’s eye-mask and he has wet his pants. He walks up to his elderly teacher, Mrs. Bolton, and she just sighs and says that she will have to call his father. Scared by this prospect, he begs for her not to but she tells him that she has to, as it’s the rules.
Suddenly, a voice asks “rules?” and they both spin around to see who it is. A young Deadpool, wearing his trademark mask, stands there and tells Bullseye that where they’re going they don’t need rules. An angered Mrs. Bolton puts her hands on her hips and asks “excuse me?” Deadpool asks if she farted and tells her he just assumed she always smelt like that. When she tries to send him to the principal’s office, Deadpool cuts her off and tells her he isn’t a waiter… he doesn’t take orders and neither does Bullseye. Bullseye excitedly agrees with him and then takes out a gun and shoots Mrs. Bolton in the chest.
Deadpool admires the shot and Bullseye tells him the slug stays in the body so there will be no mess to clean up. Bullseye muses aloud that Deadpool is the new kid. Deadpool confirms it and then asks him if he wants to burn the place down. With that, he takes out a fuel can and a lighter and sets fire to the school. As the two boys watch the flames, Bullseye asks what Deadpool wants to do next. Walking away, Deadpool replies that they should knock over the candy store.
(reality)
Bullseye slowly wakes up in a hospital bed. He has tubes going into his nose and bandages wrapped around his chest. Confused as to where he is, he sits bolt upright in bed. A female nurse congratulates him for being alive and then tells him that, if the meat hook had been half an inch to the left, he never would have made it. She tells him that he was lucky. Norman Osborn and two H.A.M.M.E.R guards are also in the room with him. Osborn tells him that that’s one way to describe him… others would be ineffective or incompetent or amateurish. He tells the nurse to go with the agents to be debriefed. When she starts to object, he tells her to be debriefed or detained, it’s her choice.
As the nurse leaves with the agents, Osborn sits down at a room’s table. On the table is a basket with a white, flowering plant in. Osborn tells Bullseye that a meat hook isn’t something you experience every day. Still a bit groggy from just waking up, he stutters and asks why Osborn brought him to a civilian hospital. Osborn tells him he didn’t and points to the flowers. On the flowers is a card with a picture of Deadpool’s face on it. Osborn simply says “he did.”
Osborn stands up and starts to lecture him about how much he gets paid, but Bullseye quickly interrupts him and asks if he thought he was doing this for the money. Bullseye tells him that he has been doing high end jobs since forever and then asks if he has seen him spend any of it. Bullseye tells Osborn that he probably has more money than him at this point. He continues and tells him that he stopped doing it for the money a long time ago… Now he does it because it’s fun. Osborn asks him if getting his ass kicked by Deadpool is fun and then tells him Deadpool is making him look like a fool. Angered by this, Bullseye tells him not to worry and that he’ll take care of him. As he starts to get out of his bed, he tells Osborn to just get him patched up.
Avengers HQ: Three Days Later
Bullseye, dressed in Hawkeye’s uniform, stands in a medical bay with wires strapped to his chest. A doctor tells Osborn that he is good to go. Osborn brings up an image of Deadpool, posing next to a taco stand, on a monitor. He begins to tell Bullseye that Deadpool has been spotted several times outside the van but Bullseye interrupts and tells him it’s a trap. When Osborn questions it, Bullseye tells him that Deadpool wanted to be seen and then repeats that it’s a trap. Osborn tells him to find a way around it and then hands him a device for him to use. Bullseye recognizes it as the teleporter that they took off Deadpool but he tells Osborn that Deadpool will be expecting them to use it. Crossing his arms, Osborn asks Bullseye what they should do, since he has all the answers. Bullseye replies “nothing.”
As Deadpool walks across the yard of an abandoned airfield, Bullseye continues to explain his plan to Osborn. He tells him that Deadpool took him to the hospital because he wants the game to continue. When Osborn enquires as to what game he means, Bullseye tells him “this thing between us.” Osborn asks Bullseye if he thinks Deadpool wants him to go after him. Bullseye tells him that he knows he does and that he probably has big plans for when he does… big and bizarre.
At the airfield, Deadpool opens a door to a storage hanger and walks in. The room inside is full of boxes, weapons and torture devices such as a guillotine, axes and even an iron maiden. Also in the room under a tarpaulin is some kind of vehicle. To himself, Deadpool proclaims that it shall be their finest hour.
Bullseye continues and says that the best thing for him to do is to do nothing, as it will drive Deadpool up the wall.
Sat in an armchair at the airfield, a frustrated Deadpool says that he is being driven up the wall and then asks what’s taking Bullseye so long. He then decides to go get some tacos while he is waiting, but then looks down and realizes he has just done that.
Bullseye says that Deadpool has the attention span of a gnat. If he doesn’t go to Deadpool, then eventually Deadpool will come to him.
Becoming increasingly irritated, Deadpool finally breaks and throws the tacos on the floor and swears at them. One of his inner voices pipes up and asks if he just swore at tacos and then tries to calm him down. As Deadpool grabs a chainsaw, he mutters to himself, damning Bullseye for making him hurt the ones he loves the most. With that, Deadpool grabs some car keys and drives out of a hanger at the airbase in a monster truck.
As Deadpool drives along a road, he passes under a bridge. As he goes past it, Bullseye steps out of the shadows holding a bazooka. Having passed under it, Deadpool glances in a side mirrors and sees a rocket hurtling towards him and in his rearview mirror he sees Bullseye behind him holding the bazooka. He slams on the brakes and spins the truck around until it’s stopped and facing the side of the road. He then quickly winds down the front windows. A moment later, the rocket passes right through the open windows of the truck and explodes in the distance. Deadpool turns to look at Bullseye and then slams his foot on the accelerator. A disheartened Bullseye mutters that that he has to admit it… that was ~%&£$ing awesome.
Just then, another car slams into Bulleye from behind, sending him flying in the air. He lands in a heap on the tarmac and a distressed woman gets out of the car. Stunned, he asks “what… the hell?” The woman rushes up to him and tells him she didn’t see him because she was too busy looking at the big truck. Before she can finish, though, Bullseye grabs her around the throat and starts to choke her. As does so, Deadpool’s truck comes up to him. A moment later, a loud crunching sound is heard as Deadpool parks one of the wheels right on Bullseye’s foot.
Bullseye screams in pain and lets go of the woman as Deadpool gets out. He then asks if Bullseye is stuck. With that, he takes out a chainsaw and tells him he will have him out in a second. An alarmed Bullseye looks on as Deadpool starts up the chainsaw. As Deadpool advances on him, he has flashbacks… first to himself as a kid when his teacher was going to tell his dad he wet his pants. Then to when Osborn was telling him Deadpool was making him look a fool.
As the chainsaw gets nearer, Bullseye tells Deadpool to wait. With the saw inches from him, he tells Deadpool that he wants to pay him off. Deadpool asks for clarification that “he” means Norman Osborn. Bullseye remembers his earlier conversation with Osborn about how he probably has more money than Osborn at this point. Looking up at Deadpool, Bullseye lies and tells him that it’s Osborn who wants to pay him off.
As Deadpool backs off, Bullseye asks him if he has an offshore account, to which Deadpool tells him he has about eleven. Bullseye tells him to get the truck off him and he will initiate the transfer. Deadpool asks if it’s a trick…. He lets Bullseye go and then he gets an ace of spades through his throat. Bullseye tells him that Osborn is done wasting time on him. He either takes the money or he lets Sentry deal with him. He then asks Deadpool what it’s going to be. Deadpool thinks about it for a few seconds and then picks Bullseye. Bullseye tells him it was a good choice and then says to get him to a computer and he will make it happen.
At an abandoned building, Bullseye is at a computer transferring the money across. Deadpool looks on, stunned at how much money he is getting. Bullseye tells him there’s a catch… Deadpool has to disappear for a while, as Osborn doesn’t want people to know he is still upright. Deadpool asks him for how long, to which Bullseye replies for as long as Osborn keeps his charade going. He tells Deadpool that it’s obvious Osborn is holding on by his fingernails and sooner or later it will all come down around him. When it happens, he is sure it will be big news so Deadpool just has to stay tuned. When Deadpool tells him he doesn’t have a TV, Bullseye points out he can afford one now.
With a depressed Bullseye slumped over the computer and the transaction complete, Deadpool turns to leave. He gets to the door and then tells Bullseye that the arrow through the head thing was funny. Bullseye agrees and, with a tear in his eye, tells Deadpool the meat suit thing was funny too. Both men start laughing and Deadpool walks away. One of Deadpool’s inner voices asks what they are going to do now.
At the storage facility at the airfield, Deadpool sits in his armchair in front of a large flat screen TV. He sits there for an entire month watching TV and eating tacos. As he grows fatter and fatter, the taco wrappers start to pile up around him. After a month, he asks himself what he expected. With that, he takes out a gone and replies “more” to himself. He the positions the gun under his chin and fires… blowing a hole through his head.
