As Wade Wilson watches the piano fall onto Logan, he wishes he had “a cam” until he sees a man standing near him holding a digital camera. Wade asks him whether, if he gives him his e-mail address, he would send him one of the pictures he just took. When the man does nothing but stares at him in fear, Wade tells him to relax, he’s not gonna… The man doesn’t wait to hear that and proceeds to run off in fear, dropping his camera in the process. Wade wonders what’s going on and takes a look at the viewing window of the camera. What he sees is a very angry Logan.
Turning around, he sees Logan running towards him and he takes off. As he runs down the street he exclaims feets don’t fail me. In short time, Wade enters a building and closes the door. Just as he does, Logan jams his hand through the glass, injuring himself in the process. He calls out to Wade that that tears it. Entering the building, Logan says now he’s gonna cut off his $?%#in’ face an’ use it to…
Logan stops his sentence as he realizes where he is – a coffee shop by the name of Karen’s Koffee. One of the patrons tells him that Freddy Krueger went towards the back of the shop, just in case he was wondering. Before Logan can head there, the owner of the shop, Karen, tells Logan that he’s payin’ for the door. It was an antique. Logan tells her to take it easy “princess.” Enraged by that comment, Karen tells her assistant Jean to forget about callin’ the cops, she’s gonna take what’s owed outta the little punk’s ass instead.
In the back of the store, Wade asks one of the workers if she’s really gonna… The worker says oh yeah. As Karen starts swinging at Logan, he dodges each of her attempts. While he does, he tells her that she doesn’t wanna… When he’s had enough of it, he says hell with it and offers up his chin for Karen to take a free shot. After she punches him with everything she has, she cries in pain over her broken hand. Logan asks her if she feels better now and says he didn’t think so. Tending to Karen, Jean tells Logan to get the hell outta there; their insurance will cover the door. In the back, the worker informs Logan the other dude went out the back into the alley and took her knife. Smiling, Logan heads towards the back, ignoring the protests of Jean.
Kicking the door to the alley open, Logan tells Deadpool that, if he’s gonna be stupid enough to challenge him to a knife fight, he sure as hell ain’t gonna let him down. Once in the alley, he pops his claws and tells Deadpool let’s play. Up above, he hears Deadpool’s voice telling him he’ll be “his huckleberry” before he opens up fire on him with a rifle. From the roof of an adjacent building, Wade wonders how stupid he thinks he is. His mind replies “He probably thinks you’re a complete moron.” Wade is confused as his mind continues “Face it – no one really has a high opinion of him.” Wade thinks to himself he’s a mercenary, no one’s supposed to have a high opinion of him. “How convenient.” Wade wonders if he should lie down on the couch for the rest of this or…
Just then, he asks out loud if “they” wanna quiet down up there. In case they’ve forgotten, they’ve got some serious work to… From there, he opens up fire down below. Pleased with his work, he holds a rope and says here we go, if this doesn’t work, A.I.M. owes him one hell of a refund. With that said, he leaps off the building.
As Wade lands on top of an exhausted Logan, he yells out “Zbornak.” Just as he tackles him off the sidewalk and onto the trolley tracks, Logan turns them around, pops his claws and tells him game over. Wade simply smiles at him, which prompts Logan to ask why the hell he is doing so. Wade tells him because he’s funny. “Let’s play,” “game over.” He says to Logan that he’s got more corns in his one-liners than he has in his poop after the county fair. Logan informs Wade that his problem is that he never learned to take anything seriously and proceeds to head butt him, causing Wade to bleed from the nose and mouth. Wade asks is that his problem, he thought it was that he was crazy.
At that moment, Wade looks up at Logan and sees him wearing a t-shirt that says, “I’m with stupid” and an arrow pointing upwards. He then says that reminds him and pushes a button on a remote. When he does, the mechanical end of the rope attaches itself onto a metal pole in the tracks of the trolley and heads off in the opposite direction of where Logan and Wade are locked in combat. At that same moment, the other end of the cord wraps itself around Logan’s leg, thanks to Wade’s actions earlier. In no time, Logan is drug down the street as Wade tells him he will see him in about twenty minutes %&*#head.
Picking himself up off the ground, Wade stumbles down the street to a nearby apartment complex. When he gets there, one of the passer-bys asks him if he’s alright, he saw what… Wade tells him to leave or he’ll stab him in the &%#$ing face. Pressing the call button, he informs Mrs. Sapolski that it’s Denny, the new tenant down the hall. He asks her if she could buzz him in; he lost his key. Mrs. Sapolski asks “Danny?” to which Wade tells her no, it’s Denny, her new neighbor. Mrs. Sapolski asks him if he lost his key, to which Wade tells her that he lost it, he got mugged actually. Hearing that, Mrs. Sapolski takes pity on him and buzzes him in and tells him as if life hasn’t been unkind to him enough, already.
Further down the street, Logan continues to be drug down the street by the cord. Eventually, he is run over by an oncoming truck, which in turn causes a three car pileup. It does, however, snap the cord around Logan’s ankle, freeing him.
Back in the apartment complex, Wade thanks Mrs. Sapolski for buzzing him in. She tells him there’s no need to thank her and asks him if he’s called the police. Grabbing a key from above his door, he informs her that he’s gonna go down there right now. He just wanted to change his clothes and maybe grab a few things. Entering his apartment, it is riddled with his Deadpool suit, various rifles and firearms, ammunition, and grenades. Once he is dressed and armed, he takes one last look at his face in the mirror. Disappointed with how it looks, he puts his mask on. When he does, his demeanor changes completely and he says “hey-oh!”
Outside, Deadpool counts down the time. Nineteen minutes, fifty-seven seconds… nineteen minutes, fifty-eight seconds… As he watches Logan pulling himself out from underneath the wreckage, he begins to sing. “Ooo-wee-ooo-wee-ooo… Wah-waah-wah… Ooo-wee-ooo-wee-oooo… Wah-waah-wah.” In his mind, Logan looks like a cartoon character wearing a hat, standing below a sign that states “1st Annual Deadpool kills Logan festival.” As he pulls out his sword he asks Logan if he’s just gonna sit there or…
At that moment, Logan pops his claws, takes a swipe at Deadpool and then another. The second breaks his sword in pieces. Shocked, Deadpool goes for his gun and asks Logan where’s the one-liners. Logan doesn’t answer him but instead kicks him the face. Hunched over, Deadpool exclaims that he gets it. It’s on now, isn’t it? Seeing a crazed look in Logan’s eyes, he says, “Like, fer reals this time.”
