At Salem Center, located in Westchester County, New York, Harry from Harry’s Hideaway hangs up a sign that says “Closed. For Good!!” As he does so, he remarks there goes 40 years, down the tubes. One of his employees tells him that he did the best he could. Lord knows, times are tough all over these days. Harry says he knows but that doesn’t make it any easier though. Boy, they sure had their times there, didn’t they? Business was great there for a while. But a few years ago, he doesn’t know, it just seemed to dry up. He guesses ol’ Graymalkin Lane just ain’t what it used to be.
Just then, the ground begins to rumble and out from the hole in the ground emerges Wolverine with a torn shirt and a large dragon. Seeing his old friend, Harry asks Wolverine if that is him. Logan tells him it’s been a while. He doesn’t suppose his usual table’s still open. Harry tells him he bets his ass it is. Turning to his employees he tells them don’t just stand there. Open her back up. Can’t they see they just made their next month’s rent? Logan tells him more than that. He brought some friends along. With that, Logan tells Gorilla-Man, Fat Cobra and a bunch of the servants of the Jade Claw to follow him. Cold beer awaits and drinks are on him. On his back is a sack full of money.
Earlier, somewhere in the center of the Earth, Soulstriker punches one of the Jade Claw’s servants and tells him to move faster. The harder they work, the easier he makes their deaths. Move! Turning around, Soulstriker sees three gigantic red dragons standing before him. He proceeds to ask them what they are standing around for. Go make themselves useful before he scrambles up some of their hatchlings for breakfast. Do they hear him, stupid beasts? Look at them, all lazy and bloated. And their breath… My god, could they possibly be any more disgusting?
At that moment, the dragons regurgitate all over Soulstriker. Covered in slime, Gorilla-Man remarks that he’s debating who to kill first, Wolverine, or them. Logan tells him that it’s best to go with them, bub. Fat Cobra adds that he’s got to be honest, that wasn’t anywhere near the grossest thing he has ever been inside. And surprisingly enough, he’s now hungrier than ever.
As the armored followers of the Jade Claw sound the intruder alert, one of the concubines interrupts Jade Claw’s massage and offers her a thousand humble apologies, most gracious esteemed highness but it appears they have intruders. Jade Claw asks who would dare interrupt the Jade Claw’s hour of relaxation. She believes they know what to do with these interlopers. The concubine says aye, my queen. He shall have their tongues and lips sewn into sandals for her forthwith. Jade Claw tells him see that he does.
Surrounded by the Jade Claw’s guards, Gorilla-Man asks Logan what the plan is. When Logan tells him a buncha stabbing, Gorilla-Man says right. Bravo, General Patton. Fat Cobra asks that they leave at least one alive so that he may show them where they keep their food. Covered in slime, Soulstriker tells the guards not to just stand there, idiots, kill them. Engaging the guards in battle, Fat Cobra asks if he was talking to them or the guards. Gorilla-Man remarks that he’s not really with them, you know. He swears, he barely even knows them.
Amidst the poppy fields, one of the Jade Claw’s foot soldiers remarks that he hears gunshots, trouble at the compound. After another soldier points his weapons at the workers, he tells them to keep their heads down and get back to work, you vermin. Slamming his poppy filled sack into the soldier’s face, Yuen Yee says he bets the concubines don’t get talked to like that. Proceeding to pick up the soldier’s automatic weapon, he mows down the other soldiers with ease. Once done, he calls out to his fellow opium slaves to follow him to freedom. He adds a word of warning. The economy up top totally sucks right now and opium slave may actually not be such a bad job to have. As they all follow him, he tells them to suit themselves.
At the compound, Gorilla-Man, Logan and Fat Cobra continue their battle against the Jade Claw’s forces. As Fat Cobra uses technical Kung Fu moves, such as the white chi kidney jab, speeding snake kneecap smash, Mongolian jawbreaker and Shaolin sucker punch, Gorilla-Man fights with reckless abandon. Fat Cobra proceeds to remark to him that his monkey style needs work to which Gorilla-Man tells him to kiss his ass. Just then, Soul Striker yells at the soldiers to get back. When they don’t, he punches one of them from behind, killing him.
Approaching Logan, Soul Striker informs them that this one’s his. Coming face to face with Soul Striker, Logan says it’s nice to know he cares. Gritting his teeth, Soul Striker tells Logan that he is going to beat his soul to a quivering pulp. Logan asks him he thinks so, huh? Fine, take your best shot, chief. Rearing back his fist, Soul Striker replies don’t mind if he does.
In New York, Melita Garner enters an office for an interview. The man behind the desk tells her to come in. He has exactly 7 minutes before his next editorial meeting, so he apologizes in advance for being brusque. He’s read her work. In particular, her expose on Blackguard and her Frontline reports from their latest end-of-the-world global catastrophe there in New York. She’s very good. So good he has to ask, why did she leave her job in San Francisco?
Melita replies well, she… um… she thought it best to leave after… well… after a group of super villains attacked the office and tried to kill her. The interviewer says uh-huh. He sees. So when can she start? Melita replies she’s sorry… did he hear what she just said? The man on the other end of the desk, Joseph “Robbie” Robertson repeats that she said a group of super villains tried to kill her. He tells her this is the Daily Bugle. Their motto is: if there aren’t any super villains trying to kill you, you simply aren’t doing your job. Now does she wanna work there or not?
Following Robbie out into the rest of the office, Melita answers that she supposes she’ll have to… Robbie tells her she knows the drill. He’s offering very long hours for very little pay. And if they’re all really lucky, they may still have jobs a year from now. All he can really promise her is that she’ll get to write firsthand about the sorts of things that the rest of the world only sees in comic books. Just tell him one thing. Other than angering super villains, does she have any experience when it comes to dealing with super heroes?
Just then, a young man tells Melita “hi.” Yelling at the young man, Robbie tells him, Parker, that he doesn’t work there anymore. Stop sneaking in to use their bathrooms. Melita slyly looks over at Robbie and tells him he could say that, yes.
Deep beneath the surface, Logan yells at Soul Striker to do it. When Soul Striker punches Logan in the chest, he falls to a knee, clutching his hand in pain. He asks how this is possible. Logan tells him he might say he’s been… working out a bit since they last tangled. He has a girlfriend, buried one of his closest buddies, went to hell and back, had a buncha demons run wild in his head, was tricked into killing his own damn kids, had his face blown off by another of his friends and became headmaster to a school full of mutant teenagers. After all that, does he really think some one-armed joker who punches like a girl is gonna do him any damage?
Enraged, Soul Striker punches Logan in the chest again. When he does, Logan tells him to keep it up. It’s startin’ to tickle. Nearby, Fat Cobra punches out Rock of the Buddha. As he does, he tells him that he strikes him as a man who’s used to having to pay for sex. Tell him, where might one find wenches in these parts? Firing his rifle at Razorfist and Darkstrider, Gorilla-Man asks has he mentioned how much he hates Kung Fu.
As the battle rages on between all of the participants, four gigantic dragons suddenly appear out of nowhere. Yuen Yee points to Fat Cobra and says quick, let’s feed ‘em the fat guy. When Soulstriker gives the dragons the order to kill, the dragons unleash their fire upon Soulstriker. Atop one of the dragons, Master Po says he took the words right out of his mouth. That’s right, you worthless bums. Master Po yet lives. No thanks to any of them. Logan quips to Gorilla-Man that he told him he was too damn tough. Gorilla-Man replies that it’s about time he was right about something. With the dragons on the side of the heroes, the battle turns in their favor. Inside the Jade Claw’s compound, one of her concubines tries to tell her a dragon is there but Jade Claw yells at him and calls him an impudent dog. He has interrupted her tranquility for the very last time. Swallow his own tongue at once. Just then, the dragon unleashes his fire and burns the compound to the ground.
Making his way over towards a severely burnt Soulstriker, Logan tells him Jade Claw’s finished. Reckon he knows what’s next. He done punched his last soul, bub. With that, Logan slices off Soulstriker’s lone hand. Tossing it away, he tells Master Po that the rest is all his. On his knees, Soulstriker says please. He wouldn’t hit a man with no arms, would he? Po tells him no and promptly follows up with a foot to his nose.
At Harry’s Hideaway, Master Po raises his glass. As he recants his tale, he says he’d kick the living $@#* out of him. With that comment, a roar of laughter emits from the crowded bar. Logan mentions to Po that, the last time they saw him, he was falling down a bottomless pit. How’d he get outta that one? Po tells him he fell all the way to the Earth’s molten core, where he landed in a dragon’s nest. Turns out there are rival breeds of underground dragon, who’d been waging war for…
Looking at his empty bar, Gorilla-Man says he’s gonna need another beer if he has to listen to this. Chomping on a turkey leg, Fat Cobra asks Yuen Yee about the job as Black Dragon. Does it include any special perks? And if he’s being unclear, by “perks” he of course means wenches. Logan asks Gorilla-Man whatever happened to his pal, the Jade Claw. Gorilla-Man answers the last he saw her, she was on her way back to China (being chased by dragons).
When Logan says he guesses that’s that, Melita asks him if she can buy him another round, sailor. Melita tells him she can afford it. He’s looking at someone who’s now gainfully employed. Logan says the Daily Bugle, huh? Not bad. Melita replies yeah, the strange thing is though she never actually sent them her resume. Logan asks really? That is strange. He guesses one of her admirers must’ve done it for her. Melita says she guesses so. She supposes that means they’re not quite rid of each other just yet, huh? Logan tells her he supposes so.
Looking around, Melita mentions to Logan that she sees he got his money back. When Logan tells her “yep,” Melita asks if she dares ask who all the rest of these people are. Logan says he’d rather she didn’t. After she asks him if that gorilla is supposed to be drinking, Logan answers he doesn’t know, but they sure are. Clinking their glasses together, Logan says here’s to life in the Empire State. Melita replies that she’ll drink to that.
Elsewhere, three individuals in the shadows look at pictures of Kingpin, a Yakuza warrior, Hand ninjas, Amiko and the Silver Samurai, amongst others that can’t be seen. One of them remarks that the pieces are falling into place. Another says yes. In all the wrong ways, they’re afraid. Holding up a photo, another remarks that this is the one that scares them the most. When another says they thought he was dead, the reply is wishful thinking, apparently. He’s knee-deep in all this, they know. Just don’t know how or why. One of the figures asks what it all means. Another replies for one, lots of people getting killed. Other than that, they’re afraid this means they’re all gonna have to swallow a huge chunk of pride and face the last guy on Earth they ever wanted to see again: Wolverine.
