Reality fades away, as Captain Britain and his elfin companion, Jackdaw, begin to tumble through nothingness. King Arthur’s last words echoes in their ears, as the King tells Captain Britain to return to his own world and time and that Jackdaw’s special powers might help him.
While they are floating through nothingness, suddenly Captain Britain’s Star Sceptre and Amulet of Right vanish and his red costume gives way to a different more uniform-like outfit, displaying a huge Union Jack on the chest.
Elsewhere, Arthur and Merlyn discuss that Captain Britain and Jackdaw have a destiny to fulfill, one perhaps even more important than theirs.
Time passes and Captain Britain and Jackdaw suddenly find that they are landing on a pile of money. Action – at last, the elf sighs, before he lands - hard.
It is a bank vault, Cap realizes, and, if he is not mistaken, this is the middle of a bank robbery. The would-be robbers are two gentlemen dressed as stage magicians, a jester and a metallic-looking being, dressed like a walking playing card. One of the conjurors points at Captain Britain and tells the jester – Coco – to look. Sinister-looking, despite his broad grin, Coco orders the conjurors to get him. They points their wards at Cap and fire comes spilling out.
Falling back, Cap grimly thinks that, without his Star Sceptre, this isn’t going to be easy. Not wishing to show his insecurity, he announces that it is nice of them to unroll the welcoming mat, but this is Captain Britain they are dealing with. He slugs one of the Conjurors, while kicking the other in the face, while that one is in the process of saying that he’s never heard of him.
Jackdaw finds this whole incident very curious, but decides to help by tackling the Jester.
In the meantime, the metallic-looking creatures introduces himself as Jack of Hearts to Captain Britain and warns him that he won’t find him such a pushover. Why, is he the leader of the pack, Cap feebly jokes. Almost insulted, the Jack of Hearts asks if he think he is funny? He is not half as loony as they are, because they are from the Crazy Gang! He hits Captain Britain who tumbles backwards. Well there’s a name to conjure with, he jokes, but his anger grows. He has been away from London a long, long time and this is not the homecoming he sought.
Hey, Dumbo, a voice suddenly announces and Captain Britain turns into the direction of the voice to see even more grotesque foes. A madly grinning, tooth-gapped Terry Thomas lookalike in an ill-matched orange suit, an ugly dumpy woman dressed in red, a tall hooded creature with a scythe and a small, fat, blue creature dressed like the parody of a school boy and madly yukking.
The grinning man giggles that their foe made a big mistake making a dash for the cash that night. They call him Jim Jaspers, Mad Jim Jaspers and the lady is his beautific bride, the Queen of Hearts. What does she say?
Her reply is succinct and to the point Orf wiv ‘is ‘ead! she orders. As Jaspers informs Cap that the Crazy Gang believes in the old tradition, like execution by royal decree, the hooded figure, the executioner, silently moves forward, raising his axe.
Cap reasons that he should be injured more badly than he is. Perhaps the forcefield he used to control with his Star Sceptre still holds …
He informs the Executioner that he has a lot of respect for royal tradition, but none for him. With that, he pushes him out of the window. Outside, some winos watch and one of them comments, as if underscoring a point, if the other sees what he means, it’s a horrible world full of violence.
Cap realizes he was right about the forcefield. He was able to slam the Executioner by sheer force of will by expanding the forcefield. He jumps outside, while Jaspers shouts at the Crazy Gang to follow him. He won’t have his project ruined by some Charlie in a Union Jack!
As he stumbles out of the window, Cap, to his horror, finds that they are not on the ground floor, as he had believed, and, without his scepter, he cannot fly. However, he finds that by sheer force of will he can! The Sceptre’s powers must have been transferred to the suit by Merlyn. Suddenly, he finds that the Conjurors are taking potshots at him with their wands and he wonders where Jackdaw is.
Shouting from down below, Jaspers waves a teapot and suggests Cap come down for a nice cup of tea. Been a long time, Cap replies, but no thanks. Jaspers insists he have some, as he tosses the teapot at Cap. Moments later, it explodes in his face.
Jackdaw, who has been watching from hiding, decides he better help. He reaches out with his telepathic powers and the Conjurors momentarily stop their assault, wondering why they are firing at Cap. By the time they regain their composure, Jackdaw has stolen their wands.
As the Crazy gang starts pursuing him, Cap swoops down, throwing several of the bags of money at him. The bags burst open and the winos start gathering the money. Jaspers threatens that Cap will pay for this, causing Jackdaw to wryly remark that it looks like he already has.
Sirens start wailing and Jaspers orders the Crazy Gang to scarper. He’ll create a diversion. While the Queen protests that they are losing the money, Jaspers draws another teapot from his jacket. But the second teapot explodes harmlessly with a ‘phut,’ creating a smokescreen to allow the Crazy Gang to get away. Under the smokescreen, the remnants of the motley crew climb aboard a bizarre getaway craft nearby, a helicopter, adorned with the letter ‘J’ and once again in the shape of a teapot.
Jaspers orders the pilot – a Dormouse- to make sure the cops see them. The Crazy Gang doesn’t need to hide from anyone. Then why are they fleeing, Coco asks incredulously.
Watching from a back alley as the Crazy Gang flee and the police arrive, Cap comments that he doesn’t like this. He takes a look at some coins: they don’t look anything like the kind of money Cap remembers. This can’t be real money. But then why did the gangsters and the drunken ones want it so badly, Jackdaw argues practically. Cap isn’t sure. He straightens up remnants of an old poster, showing a politician unknown to him and saying:Re-elect the British National Party – Keep the flame burning. This doesn’t make sense, Captain Britain states, unless something’s gone very wrong indeed…
